Published:
BOISE, ID—After downloading a free MC romance book, local bookworm Jessica Carter has developed a serious issue with her husband, Matt, citing an alarming lack of brooding, possessiveness, and growly declarations of ownership.
“I thought we had a good thing going,” Matt admitted. “Then she read this biker book, and now I’m apparently ‘too emotionally stable’ and ‘not unhinged enough to be sexy.’”
Jessica, once satisfied with casual forehead kisses and affectionate texts, is now completely unimpressed with her husband’s lack of biker energy.
‘He’s Just Not Threatening Enough’
According to Jessica, the shift in her expectations was instant.
“I was fine—normal, even—until I met Hawk,” she explained, referring to the fictional biker hero in the book she downloaded for free.
“Then I looked over at my husband, sitting on the couch comfortably, not clenching his jaw, not gripping the armrest like he was holding back a dark, tortured past, and I realized… I deserve more.”
Jessica now longs for the type of raw, possessive energy she believes Matt is simply choosing not to give her.
“I left the house for five hours the other day, and when I came back, he didn’t even demand to know where I’d been,” she said, shaking her head. “He just said, ‘Hey babe, how was Target?’"
She took a deep breath, composing herself.
“Hawk would have burned the whole city down trying to find me.”
‘I Don’t Even Own a Motorcycle’
Jessica’s dissatisfaction has left Matt scrambling to understand what, exactly, is expected of him.
“She told me she wanted me to ‘stake my claim’ and I was like, ‘I thought we did that when we got married?’" he said, looking lost.
After several vague gestures, Jessica explained that staking a claim should involve more pinning against walls, jaw-tightening, and gripping the arms of chairs in possessive frustration.
In an effort to course-correct, Matt tried pulling her onto his lap during an episode of House Hunters, hoping to capture the energy she desired.
“She just sighed and said, ‘Not like that…’”
When asked if he’d considered purchasing a motorcycle to compensate, Matt shook his head.
“I don’t think it’s about the bike,” he admitted. "I think she wants me to have... enemies."
A Nationwide Epidemic
Experts warn that thousands of husbands and boyfriends across the country may soon experience a similar crisis.
“We’re seeing a surge in ‘MC Romance-Induced Relationship Dissatisfaction’ across the U.S.,” said Dr. Emily Lawson, an expert in the field of book boyfriend recovery.
Symptoms include:
✅ Increased sighing
✅ Disappointed glances at one’s real-life partner
✅ Asking why no one has ever been forced into a marriage for their own protection
✅ Complaints that their husband ‘lets too many people look at them without consequences’
Can This Marriage Be Saved?
Despite Jessica’s emotional turmoil, she insists that all hope is not lost.
“He could fix this,” she admitted. “I just need one solid possessive growl. Maybe a jaw-clenching moment in public. Threaten a waiter. Literally, anything.”
For now, Matt remains uncertain about his future.
“I don’t know if I can be the guy she wants me to be,” he said, staring at a Google search for ‘how to be more possessive without legal consequences.’
🚨 Is Hawk responsible for the sudden rise in relationship dissatisfaction?
Find out for yourself—grab your FREE copy now and see what the obsession is all about. 👉 [Click Here]