After downloading a free MC romance novel online, local reader Jessica Malone, 33, has reportedly spent the past three days vigilantly checking her mailbox—just in case.
“I downloaded it, sure,” said Malone, standing beside her empty mailbox for the fourth time that day. “But I thought maybe they’d send a special edition? Or a leather-scented envelope? Maybe even a handwritten letter from the biker?”
Despite having received her digital copy of Hawk immediately via email, Malone says she’s been “low-key spiraling” ever since.
“I keep checking my spam folder, my inbox, my Kindle app—and now my front porch. I don’t know what I’m looking for, but something about this man on the cover makes me think I should be receiving a package.”
According to a psychologist specializing in Book Boyfriend Addiction (BBA), Malone is experiencing what’s known in romance reader circles as “Delayed Reality Grasp Syndrome.”
“It’s common,” said Dr. Melinda Torres. “When faced with a possessive alpha male who looks like he could bench-press your car and whisper ‘You’re mine’ in a gravel voice, the brain confuses physical desire with Amazon Prime tracking updates.”
Torres also confirmed Malone is not alone. “In our recent study, 7 out of 10 romance readers admitted they’ve stared at the mailbox post-download, hoping for… something.”
Other readers were quick to show support online.
“I once called the post office to see if maybe they were holding my eBook there by mistake,” admitted @SmutGoblin69 on TikTok.
“I printed mine out just to slam it on my husband’s nightstand and say, ‘Learn from him,’” added @ChapterThirst.
Some have even started a grassroots campaign for indie authors to start mailing out “Emotionally Supportive Book Boyfriend Certificates” with every digital download.
When reached for comment, author Hope Stone was sympathetic.
“I totally get it,” she said. “My readers don’t just want to download a story—they want to be claimed, marked, and metaphorically (or literally) thrown over a biker’s shoulder. It’s a vibe.”
Stone has since promised to look into optional add-ons for future readers, such as printable biker tattoos, scented bookmarks that smell like leather and gasoline, and fake voicemails from Hawk himself.
As for Malone, she’s finally accepted that her free book will not be arriving via USPS. But sources confirm she’s now moved on to obsessively refreshing her inbox, “just in case there’s a bonus chapter where Hawk goes to the post office.”
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**Warning: Reading may cause sudden urges to buy a leather jacket and trust no one except a man named Hawk.)