Fictional Biker Refuses to Let Book End Until He Claims His Woman

Chaos broke out in a quiet author’s Google Doc last night when Hawk, a fictional biker from a bestselling MC romance series, staged a full-blown literary insurrection after discovering the book was nearing its final chapter without him officially claiming his woman.

Hope Stone, the book’s author, described the moment as “tense.”

“I was three lines away from typing The End when he literally yanked the plot off course,” she said. “He looked me dead in the eyes through the fourth wall and growled, ‘No one touches her but me.’ I’ve never been so aroused and threatened at the same time.”

Hawk, known for his leather cut, emotional unavailability, and extremely specific possessive vocabulary, reportedly tore up the original outline, demanding additional chapters of steamy, borderline-illegal motorcycle club intimacy.

“I don’t care what your character arc spreadsheet says,” Hawk barked. “We are not ending this book until I’ve made her mine in a way that leaves your readers gasping and checking their Kindle batteries.”

According to sources close to the narrative, the heroine was not opposed to Hawk’s… uh, amendments.

“Honestly? I was waiting for this,” she admitted, breathless. “All the tension, the slow burn, the brooding—he better wreck me emotionally before this book wraps.”

The publisher attempted to intervene by suggesting an epilogue, but was met with a hostile biker stare and a sudden increase in deleted scene casualties.

“He forced me to write two more possessive declarations, a shower scene, and a bonus chapter labeled ‘Mine.’ All caps,” Stone confessed.

At press time, Hawk was seen threatening the next fictional male in the upcoming spin-off with a pipe wrench and a warning: “Don’t fade to black before she knows she belongs to you.”


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The Smut Report is author Hope Stone's satirical romance news site. All articles, headlines, and quotes are purely fictional and intended for entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental (but hilariously unfortunate). We’re not here to spread misinformation—just laughter, love, and maybe a little lust. Proceed with a sense of humor.