ST. CLOUD, MN — In what friends are calling a “deeply committed act of marital desperation,” local husband Travis Denby was spotted in the garage wearing nothing but a leather vest, gym socks, and holding a wrench in what can only be described as a “tragically horny Home Depot catalog pose.”
“She’s been reading those MC romance books nonstop,” Travis confessed. “She calls them ‘research,’ but all I know is the last time I fixed the garbage disposal, she asked if I could do it shirtless… and with more growling.”
Inspired (and slightly intimidated) by fictional biker anti-heroes with names like Hawk, Diesel, and Bishop, Travis decided to take matters—and a very heavy torque wrench—into his own hands.
“I figured if she’s gonna fantasize about a possessive outlaw with calloused hands and emotional baggage, I might as well give her the Walmart version,” he said, slathering on motor oil like it was cologne.
Travis’s wife, Mallory, was reportedly supportive but also a little concerned.
“He kept yelling ‘You’re MINE!’ every time he posed,” she said. “It was sweet, but also… confusing. We were just trying to take the dog to the groomer.”
At press time, Travis was researching temporary tattoos and debating whether to learn the phrase “I ride alone” in cursive for a custom neck tattoo.
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