Local Woman ‘Not Into Bikers’ Accidentally Falls for Fictional One, Now Reconsidering Life Choices

ALLENTOWN, PADespite years of insisting she had no interest in motorcycles, leather jackets, or emotionally unavailable men with tragic pasts, 32-year-old romance reader Jessica Palmer is now questioning everything after downloading a free MC romance ebook.

“I always thought bikers were too rough for me,” said Palmer, “but then I met Hawk. He’s dangerous, protective, and now I’m wondering why my husband has never threatened to start a war over me.”

“It started as a harmless free book download,” she continued, staring off into the distance, “but then I read the words ‘You’re mine’ in a low, gravelly voice, and now… I don’t know who I am anymore.”

Palmer’s husband, Daniel, has been left confused and slightly concerned.

“I asked her if she wanted anything from Starbucks, and she just sighed and mumbled something about how ‘Hawk would’ve known her exact order,’” he reported.

As Palmer continues to reexamine her life, experts warn that downloading a free MC romance book can have unexpected side effects, including loss of sleep, sudden attraction to tattooed men, and frequent use of the phrase ‘just one more chapter.’

🚨 Want to see what the obsession is about?

👉 Click Here To Grab your FREE copy of Hawk  

 

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The Smut Report is author Hope Stone's satirical romance news site. All articles, headlines, and quotes are purely fictional and intended for entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental (but hilariously unfortunate). We’re not here to spread misinformation—just laughter, love, and maybe a little lust. Proceed with a sense of humor.