“I told myself ‘just one chapter’—now it’s Thursday and I’m unemployed.”
THE INTERNET—What began as a harmless bedtime read quickly spiraled into a full-blown lifestyle change for local woman Ashley Monroe, 32, who has not slept since discovering her latest MC romance book recommendation on BookTok.
“It was 10 p.m. and I thought, ‘I’ll just read one chapter before bed,’” she explained from beneath a weighted blanket, cradling an empty coffee mug like a security object. “But then he growled, ‘You’re mine,’ and suddenly it was 4 a.m. and I was emotionally married to a fictional biker named Hawk.”
Despite multiple alarms, missed meetings, and at least one concerned Slack message from her boss, Ashley insists the binge was “100% worth it.”
“My job never called me ‘little one’ or slammed me against a wall,” she said, her eye twitching slightly. “I’d do it again. In fact, I am doing it again—right now.”
Ashley is just one of many victims of BookTok’s dangerously addictive romance pipeline, where every swipe threatens to introduce readers to another emotionally unavailable alpha male with tattoos, trauma, and the vocabulary of a caveman.
“My family thinks I’ve joined a cult,” said one reader. “They’re not entirely wrong—it’s just that this cult has leather jackets and deeply satisfying HEAs.”
Sleep experts are warning of a growing epidemic known as “Smut-Induced Insomnia,” a condition that affects readers who experience intense back-to-back book binges and believe they can “stop whenever they want.”
“They can’t,” said Dr. Lana Kim, a sleep therapist who has stopped offering advice and now just hands patients a copy of Hawk and says, “Here, at least know what ruined you.”
At press time, Ashley was seen Googling “how to join a motorcycle club” and “can you legally change your husband’s name to Hawk without telling him.”
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