Published:
PALM BEACH, FL—In what political analysts are calling “a bold move to corner the romance reader demographic,” President Donald J. Trump announced today that anyone purchasing a Melania Meme Coin will receive a FREE MC romance book featuring a dangerously attractive biker with questionable morals.
“It’s a great deal. Maybe the greatest deal. Readers tell me they love the deal." Trump declared at an impromptu press conference held in front of a randomly selected church where he held up a copy of Hawk (Book 1 in the Guardians of Mayhem MC series) like a prop from a low-budget infomercial.
“This guy—this Hawk guy—he’s tough. He’s strong. He’s got tattoos. The ladies love him. They’re saying it’s maybe the best biker romance ever written, I don’t know, but that’s what I’m hearing."
A Stunning Pivot Into Smut
The Melania Meme Coin, which was originally marketed as a totally legitimate crypto investment, now comes with a spicy bonus.
“The MC romance community—very powerful people—came to me and said, ‘Sir, we need more alpha men. Big, strong, no-nonsense men. We need loyalty. We need dominance,’” Trump explained.
“And I said, ‘You know who else needs loyalty? America. That’s why I’m giving you a free MC romance with this tremendous, tremendous coin. And folks, let me tell you, nobody understands romance books better than me.”
Skepticism from the Romance Community
While some romance readers were intrigued by the unexpected announcement, others were less convinced that Trump had a firm grasp on the genre.
"I don’t think he understands what possessive means in the context of romance," said Emily Davis, a longtime reader. "He just kept pointing to his wife and saying, ‘That’s MY old lady.’”
When asked whether he had read any MC romance himself, Trump was evasive.
"Look, I have the best books. The best. People are always saying, ‘Sir, you should write a romance.’" He continued, "But I’m a very busy man, okay? I have a country to save."
Critics Call Out Possible Scam, White House Refuses to Comment
Some financial experts are warning that the Melania Meme Coin may not be the stable investment opportunity Trump claims.
"He’s literally selling crypto and biker smut in the same transaction," said Professor Linda Caldwell, a financial ethics professor. "This is a historic moment for nonsense."
When asked for comment, a current White House official, speaking on condition of anonymity, simply responded:
"We do not have time for this today."
Readers Divided, but Smut Wins
Despite widespread confusion, sales of Melania Meme Coin have surged, with thousands of romance readers reportedly purchasing just to claim their free copy of Hawk.
"I mean, listen," said Alyssa Greene, an MC romance fan from Texas. "The crypto part is obviously a scam, but if I get a free possessive biker with a tragic past, I’m in.”
🚨 Want to experience the book that Trump is (probably) calling ‘the most dominant, alpha, number one, five-star romance ever written’—for FREE? 👉 [Click Here]