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DALE CITY, VA—After finishing her first-ever MC romance novel, local wife and avid reader Sarah Mitchell is now demanding that her husband, Brian, "stake his claim" on her—despite his repeated assurances that they have been legally married for seven years.
“She just kept looking at me and sighing dramatically,” Brian said, shaking his head. “Then she mumbled something about how Hawk would’ve already ‘made her his’ by now. I don’t even know a Hawk.”
Brian, a mild-mannered accountant with no known criminal affiliations, was left reeling when Sarah—who had just finished a free copy of Hawk, an MC romance novel—began expressing dissatisfaction with his lack of possessive outbursts.
“She asked me why I’ve never threatened another man for looking at her too long,” Brian continued. “I mean… what? No one is even looking at her. We were at Costco.”
Sarah, however, insists that her husband is missing the point.
“I love Brian, but let’s be real—when I came back from Target the other day, he didn’t even demand to know where I’d been,” she said, disappointed. “If he really loved me, he would’ve pinned me against the wall and growled, ‘You belong to me.’”
Despite Brian’s confusion, he remains committed to keeping his marriage intact.
“She told me I need to start calling her ‘my old lady,’ and when I asked if ‘honey’ was okay instead, she just rolled her eyes and walked away,” he said.
As Sarah continues to adjust to life post-MC romance, relationship experts warn that fictional bikers may be setting unrealistic expectations for men everywhere.
"If your wife suddenly wants you to stake your claim, whisper threats in her ear, or take up motorcycle riding despite never even riding one, just know—you are not alone," said one expert.
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