Published: March 21, 2025
THE INTERNET—What began as a typical morning brain workout quickly devolved into mass chaos today as Wordle dropped its most controversial answer yet: moist.
“I opened the app, saw the green letters fall into place, and immediately threw my phone into the nearest body of water,” said Terri McClintock, a self-described “casual Wordle player” and staunch hater of the word that has haunted brunch tables and book clubs for decades. “There were six other perfectly good five-letter words. Moist? Really?”
While Twitter/X exploded with dramatic reactions, romance readers and erotic fiction fans welcomed the development with open arms—and perhaps slightly parted lips.
“Oh, I’m sorry, are we pretending moist isn’t one of the most useful words in the English language?” said Harper Lane, a romance author and longtime defender of the M-word. “Let me know how you describe a certain scene without it. I’ll wait.”
Thousands of posts across BookTok and Bookstagram immediately reframed the Wordle choice as a win for spicy literature, with trending hashtags like #MoistJustice and #NormalizeMoist taking center stage.
“I’ve been trying to reclaim ‘moist’ since 2018,” said romance influencer and self-proclaimed “smut linguist” Kiki Page. “Today is a victory for the horny.”
But not everyone was ready to get wet.
“I don’t even play Wordle,” admitted Marcus Grant, a data analyst who somehow still weighed in. “But I saw it trending and now my day is ruined.”
Therapists, meanwhile, report a 600% increase in emergency appointments from clients citing “Wordle-related trauma.”
“Half my caseload today just said ‘Wordle made me feel icky,’ then stared into space for 45 minutes,” said Dr. Rachel Kumar, licensed therapist and part-time book reviewer. “This is our ‘Yanny vs. Laurel.’ But... moister.”
In response to the uproar, Wordle’s parent company issued a statement:
“We regret nothing. You’ll be fine. It’s a word. Touch grass.”
At press time, rumors were swirling that next week’s five-letter scandal might be “throb,” prompting romance readers to prepare celebration GIFs, and the rest of the world to brace for another collective meltdown.